Fear of Success?!
After or probably while I was writing my the article Go And Pursue it!, I told my husband that I think I was afraid of success and naturally he didn’t understand why. He asked me “then why are you doing it?”
Perhaps you’re thinking:
- Den how yuh go fear success? – How can you fear success?
- Wah yuh a dweet fah den? – Why are you doing it?
- But yuh nuh ardinary? – That’s odd (haha this is the only translation to this Jamaican parlance that makes sense in this case.)
- Dat mek sense? – That doesn’t make any sense
I Can’t Explain It
Somehow, I couldn’t let my calm, always understanding and supportive husband understand what I meant. I couldn’t formulate the words to explain myself. I thought, maybe I’m confusing fear of success with being a private person. Part of me thinks that more success seems to equal less privacy. I think…yeah I know that doesn’t make sense either. I ended the conversation not totally convinced whether it was all in my head or I was confusing this fear with something else.
Prepare For Greatness
The article helped me to see that perhaps I was not only worried about my privacy. But “what if Carry On Friends and Reid-Brown Group Inc. becomes a success”? What if both of them took off? Can I do it? Can I handle it?
No this doesn’t mean that I’m more comfortable with failure. I’m a very hard worker and I am not one to give up easily. However, I think that I’m practical enough to know when something isn’t working and then close shop. Outside of freelance projects, I started a business in 2011, called Keen Workflow Solutions which didn’t work out for many reasons. I didn’t consider the venture a total failure because I learned a lot of invaluable lessons in the process. I wasn’t sad about it, in fact I was even more motivated by it to start my next venture.
This fear of success was something else altogether. Something I’ve never heard of before. And more over was ashamed to say I even had this fear. Through signs and the divine guidance given to me I am finding the resources to help me conquer my fear of success. I’m accepting that fear is natural part of doing something new. I’m also learning to manage the fear when it kicks in. By finding ways to embrace the fear instead of avoiding it.
Tell me how do you cope with fear? Whether it’s fear of failure or fear of success.