Podcast

Ep. 125: Give Thanks

Give Thanks! It’s easy to give thanks for when things are going great but what about when opportunities pass you by or when there’s tragedy? 

Listen to me share what I’m thankful for – even when things are challenging. I also share the one thing I do to make time for moments of gratitude.

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Transcript

Hey, everyone, welcome to another episode of Carry On Friends, the Caribbean American podcast. I’m your host Kerry-Ann, and I am so glad that you’re tuning in. This episode, we’re going to talk about giving thanks, or like we say in the Caribbean give thanks, give thanks. And, you know, a lot of times we say it that, you know, we shouldn’t be only giving thanks around Thanksgiving, we should give thanks every day and that is true. But like with everything, giving thanks or being thankful requires intention and mindfulness. And so I’m not going to go too much into the intentional mindfulness but I want to share with you, my audience what I am giving things for not only this Thanksgiving season, but just generally I just want to share what I’m thankful for. So I’m, of course thankful for my life that I’m alive, that I’m healthy, and that I have a family and they’re healthy and they’re safe.

I am hearing my son upstairs screaming, but I’m not going to edit that out. Because I’m thankful that he’s happy. And he is happy enough to be screaming or squealing with delight, which is probably a better way to describe how he is. I’m thankful to have this podcast I was just I’ve told a few people that in the past two or three, the past week or two Actually, I’ve discovered that coming January 2020, will be five years since I’ve been doing Carry On Friends, the Caribbean American podcast, and I’m like, Wow, it seems like a long time. But I’m like; it seems like it just started yesterday. But I’m thankful that I’ve been around and I’ve been committed and I’ve been just being consistent and I’m thankful because none of that would be possible if I didn’t have you as loyal listeners to the show. And that is like the other thing that I’m thankful for. I’m thankful that I have audience members who I’ve known over the years who’ve become friends and colleagues, you know, I’ve, I’ve met a lot of you in, in person we’ve connected via social or an email. We are developing bonds and friendship and those are really, that’s something that I don’t take lightly and I’m thankful for that if we haven’t connected yet and you’ve been listening. Remember, you could always send me an email Hello at carry on friends. I am. I will be on social but I’ll probably respond to email faster than social. But you know if you haven’t reached out and connected, you know, reach out on link up and thing. But I am grateful for that. Through the audience I’ve grown you’ve requested topics that you’d like me to explore with certain guests. And it is it is not just me bringing content it is you asking me or trusting me to talk about topics that are important to you and finding the people to talk about topics. So I am super grateful and thankful that for five years I’ve known a lot of you and I have new audience members coming in. And, you know, it’s really, it’s really been great. You know, I could call so many names, but I don’t want to leave anybody out. But you know, who you are. We connect all the time and I’m, I am grateful for that.

You know, the other thing I wanted to talk about, it’s easy to be thankful about the good stuff. It’s easy to be thankful, you know, I have life, you know, I have a family, they’re healthy. I have a job, but I’m also learning to be thankful for the not so good things that are that have happened, right? And even that is easy. So in hindsight, you know, certain job opportunities that I didn’t have certain jobs that I’ve lost. You know, I could say in retrospect that you know what those were for my good. They were they were good things. But the hard part is when you’re going through that moment, can we be thankful when we’re going through that challenge, that crisis, that hardship, and I’m trying so hard to trying so hard to kind of see what the benefit is, for me personally on a personal growth level when I’m going through something, and it’s not always easy. If you’ve listened to this podcast for the past five years, you’ve known that I talked a lot about the grief I struggled with when my grandmother died, particularly and she died and then I had two grandparents who followed within months of each other, right? And the grief that I experienced, my gosh, sometimes it was so crippling, and I am I’ve talked to somebody else that we should do something about how we deal with grief. Right? And, you know, I can say in the process of going through grief counseling, that in those moments where it was just like, No, I want my grandma, I want her. But in those moments through grief counseling, I had to really dig deep and say, you know, what are the things that I’m thankful for? And it’s like, it’s very hard to say, How could you be thankful that, you know, a person died, and it wasn’t until my niece had said it that grandma wasn’t suffering anymore. And it was, you know, it’s balancing that need to want her but also understanding that there was pain on her end pain that I’m not experiencing, and that she is now pain free. But also by losing my grandmother, I had to stretch beyond where I think was possible to stretch.

And, you know, I’m a stronger person for it. And at the time when I was going through it, and going through the grief and grief counseling, it didn’t feel like that. And I mean, there were times I had to kind of say, you know, what, this is what it is. And the in a therapist would be like, you know, and I’m like, um, but I could say, this many years after she passed, which is what, three years that I’m, I’m thankful for that process. I really am. Not that I’ve completely gotten over that process because through grief counseling, I’ve learned that it doesn’t get easier. They’re just different elements or aspects to, you know, the family member missing, or not being around. But I am thankful for just the whole experience and what it has done for me personally and bringing me closer and this more awareness and it really is part of why I’ve been more mindful about giving thanks and being thankful even for the little things, you know, just being thankful, alright, so I don’t want to dwell on that because, you know, give things you know, a little bit happier. But that is kind of one of the things that I want to say it’s not the easiest of scenarios, but even in those trying times, those challenging times, you know, digging deep to find the purpose or the reason for going through a thing and saying, you know, what, I don’t know the lesson that I’m about to learn, but I’m grateful for that lesson. And even though it’s not coming to me as gently as I would like it to come, because trust me all of them lessons, don’t feel so good.

I’m grateful that I’m about to learn something that’s going to make me better. And so other things that I’m thankful for some of those jobs that said, No, you know, Um, you know, I’ve applied to some jobs in the past and, you know, nothing ever happened and then you know, something happened. And you know, in retrospect, your like is a good thing I never got a job at that company. So, you know, in that process I’ve learned, I’ve been learning the value of not letting things force rips, as we say, in the Caribbean force, ripe. Meaning, you know, let things happen organically and naturally. And instead of forcing it because a lot of times when you force it is just, you think you get the result, but it doesn’t, it’s just not right. So that’s, that’s where I am. I’m trying not to let things force ripe. And that can be difficult because you you’re pushing for things or you want things to get done in a certain time. But I’ve been learning that when there’s a delay, just say, okay, it’s just not the time for this yet. And then I’m trying to move off to something else and not dwell on it. And so I’m going to see how long I’m going to be able to keep up with that. But I’m very, I’m being very mindful that if something isn’t working out the way I wanted to I just have to take a step back and see if there’s something that I’m doing or not doing. And if I’m forcing a thing, but whenever there’s a slow down, I take that as an opportunity to say, you know what, this is a pause. And I’m grateful for this pause before I can continue to do something. So like, those are the little things that I’m grateful for these lessons that I’m learning as I get up in age, and being more and more mindful and intentional about giving thanks every day. 

So the last thing I wanted to talk about was, you know, and as I said, at the top of the show, gratitude is something that I’ve been trying; I shouldn’t say I’ve been trying. I have been actively doing this, which is, I’ve been taking moments throughout the day to say thank you God. And I set an alert at a certain time and to say, hey, say thank you or give thanks. And you know, I first did it because we have the best intentions to say yeah, man, we shouldn’t be giving thanks every day but we schedule. I don’t know about you, but everything has to go on a schedule for me on a calendar for me because if it don’t go on a calendar or some, some reminder system, I’m going to forget it because there’s so many things. So I have to schedule or create a reminder for the moments to give thanks. I do, I really do. And what I what I did, what I’ve been doing is I set a particular time and say, okay, every day at x time, set a reminder to say thank you. So I’m switching that up because I realized that because it’s become a habit. There is those there are those times when you’re like okay, let me just snooze this for a little bit. And then you go through, you remember Oh yeah, I didn’t do this. So I had been doing so I’m about to do something else to try to switch it up a little bit, where I alternate, you know, set different times for different days and See what happened. Because if you know of a tool that can shuffle time and just do things randomly, I, I’d love to know tell me, but really, I want to be able to shuffle the time because the more it becomes a routine, the more we can push it back to the back, you know, push it to the back burner, I wanted to be not so much of a routine. I want it to be consistent. But I don’t want it to be too much of a routine that I’m not committed to it. It’s just like, yeah, this other thing I need to get off. And so I feel like at this stage after doing it for a while at a set Date at a set time every day, I think I’m at a point where I want to mix it up. I want to randomize when I get this alert that says hey, do this at this time. So if you know if any tool that does that, let me know. Because we’re also coming into the holiday seasons and everyone is traveling and being with family. So the next the next episode that I’ll be doing is going to be a really interesting episode. I really can’t wait for you to hear about that one. And then after that episode, the next episode is scheduled to be out Christmas Eve. And so that will be just like a quick preview of what’s coming for the New Year. But I want everyone to enjoy the time with the family and you know, enjoy the season and don’t forget to be thankful and give thanks. Try to set aside time on a daily basis or as consistently as you can to give things again, I am grateful for you listening for being part of the show for being part of the community. And oh, I have an ask. If you haven’t already rated the show, please go into Apple podcast, give the show a rating and review and share it with your friends. Give the gift carry your friends this holiday season. All right. And as I’d like to see at the end of the show, walk good.

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